Modded Water Bottle
We at UACS are always looking to improve things we see around campus. Recently in an offshore chugging competition we witness our own VP Sports slam a bottle of Alberfoyle water in .012313413 seconds flat. Upon achieving this miraculous feat he immediately burst into flames and was rushed to the Imperial Hospital Of Monotonekey, where they specialize in Lipocombustusographies. It was determined that VP Sports had been drinking so fast that the standard water bottle he was using was unable to cope with the intense frictional force of the water, hence causing the immediate combustion of himself and the bottle once the cooling power of the water was consumed.
Not ones to back down when a friend is at need, we at UACS leapt into action. VP External, working on the adage that you lose 50% or more of your heat through your head, immediately slapped a heatsink on the source of that problem: the bottle's lid. Next to improve the heat removal capacity we screwed a Blue Orb to the side of the bottle that the water will be traveling on as VP Sports drinks. To support this new hardware we wired it up with a power cable we found lying behind a vending machine at the Rossdale Bowling/Midget Tossing Club. Unfortunately the weight of this was too brobdingnagian so we had to add a custom designed and carefully machined support structure. We hope that using this new and improved water bottle VP Sports will retain his record as "Pretty good at drinking water fast" for years to come.
