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Brickin' 2: Electric Boogaloo of LOVE

Despite what execs of the past, present, or future may say about UASUS, deep at heart we actually like them. We like them a lot. In fact, we love them.

So, this year (2008), on Valentine's Day, we decided to express our love with a small token of our affection. By bricking their door. Again.

Small tokens come in big packages

Sneaking into Bio Sci the night before, UACS operatives scouted out the area. The target was located deep in the heart of the Microbiology Wing; once we were sure the area was free of people who could foil our plans, we got to work.

Unlike execs of years past, we had limited resources on our hands. We had 8 large sheets of red/pink bristol board, a giant roll of packing tape, a blue Google sharpie, and a giant heart with accordion paper arms. However, it's UACS tradition to hack stuff together and hope it works, and this time was no exception.

First lesson we learned: packing tape is LOUD. While our orders dictated that we were to abandon the project should we be discovered, we quickly learned a second lesson: people don't notice you if you pretend that you know what you're doing. And believe me, we did a lot of pretending. We saw at least five people pass through the foyer below, but none seemed to notice and/or care what we were doing. It was awesome.

With the bricking complete, we felt that we needed to do more to earn UASUS' love. After all, they were a mightly Faculty Association, and as a DA we were vastly inferior. This called for... a poem.

Luckily, first years are good for something after all; First Year Rep managed to use his English 111 skills to create an epic poem to woo the collective heart of UASUS.

How my heart races
Every time I talk to you
My heart goes into stasis
And I'm in outer space(s)
Whenever I think of YOU!

(Note that First Year Rep also screwed up and put Sciences instead of Science; luckily, we corrected it in the nick of time. Obviously he's not ready to graduate from first year school yet.)

The finished product! VP Social and First Year Rep give a traditional Comp Sci pose by being camera shy.

Paper Heart Guy. His ambition is to be a real boy, and become VP Publicity.

The card, affixed next to the door. Awesome art by First Year Rep. There was also a digital version of the card, with video action.

First Year Rep poses with his creation. Note the classic "I'm a first year, what's going on" face he sports.

Meatpile and VP Social show off the final work of art. Note the small airhole under the door; the accursed BioSci HVAC system was attempting to foil us, but we used some smarts to foil it back.

Valentine's Day

Before affixing our valentine, we made sure to check the office hours of UASUS to make sure that we'd be just in time to capture some sweet reaction shots of the UASUSers "enjoying" their valentine. A UACS operative checked their office half an hour prior to their opening time; everything was still in place. It was go time.

Except UASUS never came.

Our operative waited and waited in an inconspicuous location inside the M-Wing foyer, hoping to spot a UASUS exec on their way to the office. Opening time came and went, but nobody showed up. Various UACS operatives made trips to BioSci throughout the day, repeated calls were made to the UASUS hotline, but our attempts were futile.

Day Two: Meet Garry

The next day, First Year Rep stopped by the UASUS office to check to see if the token of our affection had been noticed yet. Surprise, surprise: it hadn't been. We obviously needed to up the ante. We needed to give UASUS some more love. And what's more lovable then a fictional gerbil?

VP Internal got to work on making a delivery box for Garry, the UACS Love Gerbil. With some expertly placed air holes, mass amounts of scotch tape, and a heartfelt message from Garry himself, we were set.

Second Year Rep, VP Internal, and First Year Rep trekked to the UASUS office to deliver Garry to his new owners. Note the map above, with the red star marking the location of the UASUS office; for mysterious reasons, BioSci is shaped like a dog, and UASUS is located in the dog's butt. This is completely unrelated to anything but we thought it should be pointed out.

I am UACS'
treasured Love-Gerbil
Garry. Please love
me and keep me
safe. Also, please
make sure to feed
me before 3:30 PM
February 15th.
I hope we can be BFFs! -Garry

Garry's box was expertly placed under the airhole of our valentine, safe next to UASUS' door. With Reading Week fast approaching, what shall be the fate of Garry, our valentine, and our unrequited love for UASUS? Read on for the exciting conclusion!

VP Internal and Second Year Rep pose with a day-old copy of The Gateway. We're still new to this business but we intend to get better with experience.

Day Two, Afternoon update: UASUS comes to visit!

In the middle of the afternoon, we recieved an unexpected visit from a special guest! UASUS' President came to visit the UACS office! Apparently, shortly after Team Garry left, he came by the office, and found our Valentine's gifts. (He also covered for their non-appearance on Love Day with a supposed story of fundraising in CAB. Perhaps they were looking to purchase an office in a non-horrible location?) Garry was saved from a horrible fate of starvation, our love for UASUS was finally reciprocated, and a happy ending ensued!

Perhaps we should do this more often.

Did you know that we sell ridiculously cheap snacks and drinks? It's true!

During the the Fall and Winter semesters, our VP Social sends out weekly updates to keep you up to date on the latest activities in the department. If you're not in the department and still want to hear about our valiant efforts, send us an email and we'll send you the intel.

UACS has a brand new kettle this year. It doesn't taste like plastic because it's not made of plastic. To find out what it's made of, stop by the office!

We have the sexiest lockers on campus for only $10 per term plus a $5 lock deposit. Come get one while they're hot!