You Fool
Locked in a cupboard marked "NO FIRST YEARS", this aged document tells a tale of the time that UACS disbanded, or so the README said. Seeing as UACS is not, at present, dead, I decided to read further. The contents may shock and amaze you. Or amuse you. (note: VP Archives is not responsible for any damage incurred by reading this article)
Read 'em and weep,
VP Archives
The Email That Started It
UACS VP Internal sent the following email out to all faculty, staff, and ugrads in the CS department April 1 to announce that UACS is disbanding.
Dear Students, As many of you are aware the turn out for the UACS election this year was terrible. This has led to some very heated debate and eventually a vote inside UACS. The decision has been made to disband UACS. It is apparent that there is not enough interest from the student body for us to continue to spend our time serving the students. With great sadness we have therefor decided to disband. We don't see much point continuing operation until the end of the year so effective at midnight tonight UACS is no more. It has been a fun 20 years and the present and past executives of UACS would like to thank you for your support over the past years. The following procedure has been recommended to us by the student's union for shutting down: -announce the shut down (this e-mail) -sell off any remaining assets -turn any unsellable assets over to the department We don't really want to give anything to the department so we are going to be holding an auction today at 12:30 pm in the intuit access laboratory. Everything that isn't bolted down in UACS will be sold. This includes the fridges, the iMAC and all food stuffs. Everything must go! Once again, we are saddened to have to resort to this however current fiscal and physical realities offer us little in the way of choice. So long and thanks for all the fish. UACS
The Replies
A few people caught on right away
Do they feel this on April 1st only, or other days as well?
Hmm. The date on this e-mail is suspicious.
See the problem with that is that they hit the old "Reply All" button. Now a good april fools joke is only good funny if you FOOL people. So maybe try not to immediately ruin it next time.
Others got the joke and played along
I'm really sorry to hear that things have gone so poorly for you over the past year that this is what you must do. However, we do understand the pressures of public service. Timing for me however is great as I have a number of Post-Docs arriving soon, and can surely use your office. Can you be out of there by the April 15th?
To which we replied
I don't think that date should be a problem, we hope to have everything sold off today. Perhaps you would talk it up on that side of the building, we would be just as happy to sell to members of the department as we would be to sell to students. UACS ps. Please assure Dr. REALNAMEHERE that our microwave tray will not be cleaned before the auction, as per his request
We did get a couple good replies of genuine (maybe?) concern
Dibs on the DVD burner in the iMac. ;-) Maybe that giant bag of Earl Grey tea too. Woot! I claim first dibs for actually showing up at the election forum.
Hi, my name is REALNAMEHERE, I'm a comp sci student (one of two who showed up to hear the election speaches). I hope this is an April Fools joke, that's all I can say. I guess I'll wait until tomorrow to see before barraging people with emails ;)
This is the first I've heard of any UACS difficulties, so I am surprised. As you may know, I'm away for a year, but there are still people who value UACS inside the department. This sounds like a irreversable step?
We also got one from a guy who managed to insult us twice while at the same time falling for the gag, even though he didn't read the whole email or the one that says how we are the ones organizing the food drive. Kudos!
Well, since you know that there isn't that great of an interest in UACS, isn't it pointless to spam us all about its disbanding? Either way, you should be ashamed of yourselves! There's a Food Bank Box right outside your door! Why sell the food? Ugh!